Snark in the name of sex education

I wrote a thing for the Girl Museum blog a few weeks ago, for our 52 Objects exhibition (which is really cool in it's own right, and you should go look at it. That's why I linked it). I wanted to write on it when I signed up to do it, and then I didn't because I realized I'd have to actually, you know, do it, and then I had to because I said I would and the deadline was getting close.

And then I got angry. Which might sound weird, but I have a really big issue with a lot of sex education programs out there, because they suck. Some are ok–my sex ed was ok–not amazing, but at least the 4-J school district actually taught sex ed, and I got varying levels of it in the 5th, 8th, 9th, and 10th grades. Admittedly, the 10th grade version sucked because the teacher was bad at all things, and the 9th grade version was scary because Coach Bass was scary. In a good way, but still. 5th grade was biological, and divided by gender, which was good, and 8th grade focused a bit more on issues of "don't get pregnant, here's how not to (rather lacking in practical details, but at least we got told about things like condoms)" and that sort of thing.

What I don't remember any of them looking at, though, was issues of consent. That you can say no, and if you do say no, anything after that point is rape. Doesn't matter the circumstances, it's rape. Doesn't matter if you said yes earlier, if you're saying no now, it's rape. Consent is, in my mind, the single biggest thing that's not being taught, let alone being clearly taught. It's horrible, and we can see the outcomes reverberating throughout Hollywood right now, let alone in "joking" phrases like "No Means Yes, Yes Means Anal."

So yes, the notion of consent is a HUGE deal to me, and I hate it when people muddy the waters with phrases like "date rape" (sorry Mom, but I disagree with you completely). It's not different, it's not less rapey. I can understand why some people would like it to be different–it can change one's mentality to being less of a victim, but I think it muddies the waters in ways that allow rapists to think it's ok. It's not. Related, here's a funny, but irritating they had to make it at all, vido on consent.

All that to say that you should go read my thing over at Girl Museum. The post is here, and I got snarky because we were discussing changing some objects, and mine was possibly on the chopping block, especially since I didn't really want to write it (but we didn't know what would be coming in, so we wanted a backup we could run with). I strongly encourage watching, at least in relation to this post over here, the John Oliver video over there. Fluffy the Bunny is funny, and the actual object (the video "Molly Grows Up") is really interesting from a historical/sociological perspective.

Right, back to #NanNoWriMo.

#NanNoWriMo

Or, if you don't speak hashtag, and really, why would you, it's National Novel Writing Month. I'm not sure why it's has "national" in the title, since it seems to be a pretty international thing these days, but yup, November is the time of year when a surprisingly large number of lunatics commit to writing a novel in a month. This year, I'm one of those lunatics.

I'm not sure what other people accomplish; I can't write a novel in a month, even if I weren't working full time, but I also imagine others are more driven than I am (seriously, that wouldn't be hard). Conversely, I also know that the likes of Stephen King and John Scalzi don't get their stuff done in a month–and Scalzi's novels are under 100k (I believe he said they tend to sit between 80-90k), so expecting someone to pump out a 60-80k novel in 30 days is unreasonable. Also, you try writing 2k words a day (which is what Stephen King does). Unless you start repeatedly typing "balls" over and over again, it's hard to do with fiction. Especially for those of us who self-edit as we type, removing many extraneous words (no, "that' is not necessary for much beyond padding a word count). Less hard for academic work–not easy, mind you–or editorial pieces, but never easy.

That said, it should be entirely possible to get the barf draft out in a month. It won't be pretty, but it will be something complete to work with. At least that's my goal. Barf a full first, very rough, draft into Scrivener by 30 November, then leave it be until January or so, when I'll go back and start editing it for various plot holes, bad phrases, etc.

And I'm cheating. I took this week off from work (and the whole month off from Girl Museum, which is really weird for me, as I've not had a proper break from GM since I started in January of 2010), so I get an extra 2 days. Possibly up to 5, if I extend through the first weekend of December. Also, I wrote the first chapter several years ago, so I'm around 1100 words up to start with.

Though I'm only working on Chapter 3, and fairly certain that I really only have one chapter, just with a couple of breaks in it. Meh. I can sort that nonsense out later. Barf a draft up, first!

Don't expect this to be a regular thing, but for now, I leave you with this, the very beginning.

“That went well, I think.”
Anya looked at Lila in disbelief. “In what world did that go well? Sandwich is missing part of his little finger and all of his eyebrow, Nate is still unconscious, and you, well you’re just having a bullet dug out of your shoulder. None of that can be defined as ‘well,’ Captain.”

I wrote a thing!

You can read it here: http://standardissuemagazine.com/arts/here-come-the-girls/

I'm quite chuffed about it. Very little editing done to it, none of it onerous (just things to standardize to their style). It feels quite good to have written something that someone else has published, not felt the need to edit, and frankly, done it all in less than a week (though it was arranged about a month prior to that). Most of that week was spent trying to get images sorted out, anyway!

Go me! A positive start to a new year. May it be better than the shitstorm that was 2016.

Done

2016 fucking sucks. Get the hell out, and don't come back. I'm done with the shitstorm that is politics, war, and death of this year.

RIP Carrie Fisher

I'm With Her

The next white, hetero, middle-class, middle-aged, English-speaking male who decides to mansplain American politics to an American is going to be told to shove it where the sun don't shine.

I was told today that sexism isn't the main problem that's facing Hillary. By a colleague I like and respect, but who plays the video game of life on the easiest setting (see above) and thus doesn't get the inherent, endemic sexism that surrounds us.

Vote early, don't vote often because that's against the law, and frankly, vote Hillary. I'm With Her, because he's a dipshit who wants to set the world on fire just to watch it burn.

Also, Secretary Clinton is probably the most qualified person ON THE PLANET to govern a country. Just sayin'.

Reading List 2016: January/February

A new year, a better start? Doubtful. I'm starting this on the 7th, but will I actually publish around the 1st of February? (UPDATE: No.) Also, I realized that there are at least two books I read last year but never bothered to upload (I took photos for this purpose. And then deleted them.) One was R.L. Stine's Red Rain (yes, the kiddie horror author who did a good job with a creepy adult book), and the other was a Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl, I believe. But onto this year, and who knows what I've already missed.

JANUARY/FEBRUARY

1. Driving Heat, by "Richard Castle"
2. Deaf Sentence, by David Lodge (for reading group)
3. Foxglove Summer, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant #5)
4. Pump Six and Other Stories, by Paolo Bacigalupi
5. Mogworld, by Yahtzee Croshaw

The Problem

I've worked out why I never blog anymore. Mostly it's because I'm lazy and because I'm insanely busy between work, Girl Museum, and our newest family member. But mostly because I'm lazy. That said, I spend enough time in Girl Museum's blog that, if it were still here at blogger and not on it's own site anymore, I might in fact still blog. It was a lot easier when I logged into one page and had access to two different things. Now I don't.

Still, I'm mostly lazy.

Work is bad at the moment. It's been bad for months; far busier than we can handle, even with new staff being added (also, losing old staff hurts, and it's really hard to train new staff when it's REALLY busy). But the reason work is bad now is because we're not. Working, that is. Long story short–or short story long, I'm not really sure–is that our floor was really bad and we arranged to have it replaced over the normal closure that we do between Christmas and New Year's.

We should have reopened on Monday. We're trying to figure out how to reopen this coming Monday. No idea if it'll happen yet. We need concrete to dry before we can lay vinyl, and that could take (according to some) weeks. Who knows; I don't, that's for sure.

So I'm getting random but useful and important admin done for work, and a bit of cleaning/redecorating done, which should be easy when everything is moved, but it's not, really. I'll be taking a bunch of annual leave as well (which sucks, but it'll reset April 1 anyway, so I think I can cope until then). It's better than getting paid for nothing–well, it's not, but as a director of the business that's a level of irresponsibility WAY too far–but at least I've had time off to spend with my newest family member.

Her name is Conker, and she's insane. Her nickname is Bashy (because she bashes through and/or into everything). But we love her very much.

And yes, for those who know her, I fully recognize that she looks nearly indentical to Faith. She's smaller, has a tail, and no spots on her tongue or belly, but otherwise is very similar. Most importantly, though, she is sweet and loving. And snoring right now (in the same camping chair as above. Don't ask why she likes the camping chair, because I don't know. I doubt it's that comfortable for her).

And now I must get back to work, so I have some annual leave left.

Reading List: June 2015

Wow. I thought I did this back in say August or September, not June.... Needless to say, it's not complete, as I'm probably missing books from the reading group. It's also not really in order. I might try for better in 2016, but we'll see....

JUNE to END OF 2015 (??)

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, by Maggie O'Farrell
Elizabeth is Missing, by Emma Headley (for reading group)
The Quick, by Lauren Owen (for reading group)
Allegiant, by Veronica Roth (Divergent Trilogy #3)
Insurgent, by Veronica Roth (Divergent Trilogy #2)
Divergent, by Veronica Roth (Divergent Trilogy #1)
Exclusively Yours, by Shannon Stacey (The Kowalskis)
Old Man's War, by John Scalzi (Old Man's War #1) Awesome book/author/concept
Waking Up Married, by Mira Lyn Kelly
Helmut Saves the World, by Matt Sheehan
Stealing Second, by Alison Packard (Feeling the Heat #5)
Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #8)
Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #7)
Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #6)
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #5)
Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #4)
Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code, by Eoin Colfer(Artemis Fowl #3) (ditto)
Artemis Fowl: The Artic Incident, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #2) (might have read this before, can't remember)
*Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl #1)
The Vengeance of the Witch-Finder, by John Bellairs and completed by Brad Strickland

The White Princess, by Philippa Gregory (Book #5 of The Cousins' War)
The Girl from the Chartreuse, by Pierre Péju (for reading group)
Never Deal with Dragons,  by Lorenda Christensen (actually read sometime prior to June)

UNTIL THIS POST

15. Kissing Under the Mistletoe, by Marina Adair (St. Helena Vineyard Series #1)
14. Signal Boost, by Alyssa Cole (Off the Grid #2)
13. Radio Silence, by Alyssa Cole (Off the Grid #1)
12. Isa and May, by Margaret Forster (for reading group. I thought it dull, they loved it)
11. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, by Winifred Watson (for reading group)
10. The Kingmaker's Daughter, by Philippa Gregory (Book #4 of The Cousins' War)
9. Raven Black, by Ann Cleeves (Book #1 in the Shetland Quartet) (for reading group, and we've gotten these out of order)

FEBRUARY

8. Raging Heat, by Richard Castle (Nikki Heat #6. Still making assumptions about who ghostwrites.)
7. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

JANUARY

6. Jericho Season 4, by Kalinda Vazquez (graphic novel continuation of the TV show)
5. What Zoey Doesn't Know, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #3.5)
4. Hidden Holidays, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #2.5)
3. Ill-Conceived Magic, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short, #1.5)
2. Demons in My Driveway, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #5)
1. Golem in my Glovebox, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #4)

Pet Peeves

1. I can't talk about work on my blog. Or I won't. There's so much I could say, but I won't jeopardize my job, or my work, because I love both. Hence a lot of the silence around these parts.

2. People who capitalize random words (in English). German? Fine. Nouns are capitalized in German (or so says my friend who is fluent in all aspects of German). Everything I work with is in English, and the people I work with are largely native English speakers (in theory. I doubt the Brits actually know the English language).

3. People who use apostrophes to pluralize words. The plural of word is words. Not word's. I get that "1950s" feels weird and you want to write "1950's." Wrong, but at least I can understand that. I can also understand if you don't get the difference between girl's rights (a singular girl and the rights accorded to her) and girls' rights (the rights accorded to all girls), but the plural of a word NEVER requires an apostrophe unless it's also in possession of something.

4. People who don't use the Oxford comma. It's not necessary, but it is nice. Related, people who stack lists within lists and don't use semicolons for the primary list. I swear I posted this before, but I can't find it (and I really should stop procrastinating).

Can you tell I've been editing a lot lately?

I should get back to work. I'm meeting a friend for cake and coffee around 2pm so I can escape the (not relentless but still irritating) drilling and banging that's coming from our cellar. We're having it tanked, so there are workmen there, not ghosts. At least I'm not aware of any ghosts.

2015 Reading List: February-May

Yup, definitely a new year but the same problems, namely that working full-time+ cuts into my reading time. I'm pretty sure I've missed some, but maybe not. I skipped two of the books for the reading group over the last couple of months. The first one I just couldn't get into; some of the women seemed to enjoy it (despite the mocking we gave it when it came up), but I just had no interest. The other one was Magaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, which I skipped because I've read it at least half a dozen times in my life and I love it so much, but I was trying to finish Quiet (which is good, but slow, and dense reading) so I could return it to my co-worker.

UNTIL THIS POST

15. Kissing Under the Mistletoe, by Marina Adair (St. Helena Vineyard Series #1)
14. Signal Boost, by Alyssa Cole (Off the Grid #2)
13. Radio Silence, by Alyssa Cole (Off the Grid #1)
12. Isa and May, by Margaret Forster (for reading group. I thought it dull, they loved it)
11. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, by Winifred Watson (for reading group)
10. The Kingmaker's Daughter, by Philippa Gregory (Book #4 of The Cousins' War)
9. Raven Black, by Ann Cleeves (Book #1 in the Shetland Quartet) (for reading group, and we've gotten these out of order)

FEBRUARY

8. Raging Heat, by Richard Castle (Nikki Heat #6. Still making assumptions about who ghostwrites.)
7. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

JANUARY

6. Jericho Season 4, by Kalinda Vazquez (graphic novel continuation of the TV show)
5. What Zoey Doesn't Know, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #3.5)
4. Hidden Holidays, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #2.5)
3. Ill-Conceived Magic, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short, #1.5)
2. Demons in My Driveway, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #5)
1. Golem in my Glovebox, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #4)

2015 Reading List: January

New year, new list, same lack of accuracy. Woo! And yes, I REALLY dig the Monster Haven books. I'm distraught that the last one isn't out until March. And that it's the last one. Seriously great books: great characters and world, decent plots, decent writing. Fun, easy reads, with characters that really stick with you (everyone needs a closet monster named Maurice!).

JANUARY

6. Jericho Season 4, by Kalinda Vazquez (graphic novel continuation of the TV show)
5. What Zoey Doesn't Know, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #3.5)
4. Hidden Holidays, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short #2.5)
3. Ill-Conceived Magic, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven Short, #1.5)
2. Demons in My Driveway, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #5)
1. Golem in my Glovebox, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #4)

2014 Reading List: November/December

Been a bit busy. Thanksgiving, an additional 30 hours on our return travel time (that's 30 hours on top of the 18 hours it should have taken us), Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year's, and work. Sigh... Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), the list is probably not complete, or strictly accurate as to when I finished things.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

42. Fairies in My Fireplace, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #3)
41. Pooka in My Pantry, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #2)
40. Monster in My Closet, by R. L. Naquin (Monster Haven #1)
39. Wool-Part One, by Hugh Howey
38. Fifty Shades of Grey, by E. L. James (it seriously took me over 3 years to finish this. I'm not planning on reading the other two any time soon, if ever)
37. Horrorstör, by Grady Hendrix
36. My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece, by Annabel Pitcher (for reading group)
35. The Glass Room, by Simon Mawer (for reading group)

OCTOBER

34. Robopocalypse, by Daniel H. Wilson
33. Jericho, Season 3: Civil War (graphic novel, a continuation of the TV show)

SEPTEMBER

32. The Birth of Venus, by Sarah Dunant (for reading group)
31. The Clairvoyant Countess, by Dorothy Gilman
30. Anita and Me, by Meera Syal (for reading group. The lack of these was due to problems getting copies of anything for the group. Also, I was late finishing this one)
29.  An Acceptable Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (fifth written of the Time Quintet)

AUGUST

*28. Many Waters, by Madeleine L'Engle (fourth written of the Time Quintet)
*27. A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeleine L'Engle (third written of the Time Quintet)
26. Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, by Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Chris Samnee (graphic novel)
Elmer and the Hippos, by David McKee (since it's a kid's book and took 5 minutes, doesn't count)
*25. A Wind in the Door, by Madeleine L'Engle (second written of the Time Quintet)
*24. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (first written of the Time Quintet)

JULY

23. Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant Series #4)
22. The Kill Order, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy prequel. Do not read this.)
21. Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow (you should read this. It's an interesting successor to its namesake, Orwell's 1984)

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)

2014 Reading List: October

I'm sure I read more last month, but since I can't figure out what, life goes on. That said, I'm sure I've read Death Comes to Pemberly at some point in the last year or so, but I can't find that either. Meh. I work full time+ now, so I don't have as much time to read these days. Bit sad, but at least I still read plenty.

OCTOBER

34. Robopocalypse, by Daniel H. Wilson
33. Jericho, Season 3: Civil War (graphic novel, a continuation of the TV show)

SEPTEMBER

32. The Birth of Venus, by Sarah Dunant (for reading group)
31. The Clairvoyant Countess, by Dorothy Gilman
30. Anita and Me, by Meera Syal (for reading group. The lack of these was due to problems getting copies of anything for the group. Also, I was late finishing this one)
29.  An Acceptable Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (fifth written of the Time Quintet)

AUGUST

*28. Many Waters, by Madeleine L'Engle (fourth written of the Time Quintet)
*27. A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeleine L'Engle (third written of the Time Quintet)
26. Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, by Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Chris Samnee (graphic novel)
Elmer and the Hippos, by David McKee (since it's a kid's book and took 5 minutes, doesn't count)
*25. A Wind in the Door, by Madeleine L'Engle (second written of the Time Quintet)
*24. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (first written of the Time Quintet)

JULY

23. Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant Series #4)
22. The Kill Order, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy prequel. Do not read this.)
21. Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow (you should read this. It's an interesting successor to its namesake, Orwell's 1984)

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)

Ze House

I had to sort through about 60 photos. These aren't the best, but they give a basic idea of the house without posting too revealing of information on the web (like the address). Also, there are no pictures of the cellar, because at the point we took these--right after we took possession of the house--it looked one step away from an ax-muderer's haven (it's about 3 steps away now).

The pretty rosebush outside the living room window that desperately needs a pruning. Despite his claims, the previous owner did not in fact prune it this year.

Living room. He left the weird rug that I do like, but wondered what was under it (nothing, thankfully). However, it's really shaggy, so who knows what's in it, since we didn't want to break the carpet cleaner we borrowed. Also, jackass never cleaned out the woodstove.

The front door is right across from the stairs. There's a distinct lack of entryway in the house, but those tend to cost an extra £50k.

The kitchen looks nicer than it is to work in. Trust me. Also, nothing in the photo works. Extractor hood is broken (lights work in it, at least), both ovens are broken. So I guess the range works (so did the bottle of wine). We've replaced the cooker now, but the hood is still broken.

Guest bedroom. Now on the first/second floor (choose which one via your country–we've gone up the first flight of stairs). 

Same guest bedroom as previous photo. They were big into accent walls, which we (mostly) like. Too bad this was a kid's room and it's all damaged. We have a gallon of paint in a similar blue, which will hopefully someday make it onto the wall. Also, we were warned not to use the fireplace. Gee, ya think? It's carpeted and everything.

They seemed to have a lot of red paint for accent walls. This bathroom has a distinct lack of a shower. And will continue to until Adam and I either fit a tap adaptor one for emergency use, or spend an obscene amount of money to redo the whole room (the eventual plan).

This is the other "bedroom" on the first/second floor. In two photos you'll better understand why we have quotes around it. It's our office, and houses the computers, bookcases (some of them), and currently, our clothes. We are not fans of the mustard accent wall. Not even a little.

I have no further comment.

Stairs up to the top floor/attic/loft. Also know as our bedroom, the master bedroom. It's more than a little awesome to say that, even if there's a door three steps up. Very weird.

Can you say master suite? Also, can you say ouch? Adam's whacked his head or shoulder nearly every day on the one beam, and I've done it a few times myself. However, that's not my side of the bed.

That would be the chimney breast. Very picturesque, very dusty.

The only picture I'm willing to share of the master bath, since someone (aka previous owner) is apparently unable to put the toilet seat down. He's a class act, that one. Also, note the lack of door between the bedroom and bathroom. Since that's my side of the bed, I get to perv on Adam as he showers (on the rare days I'm not at work when he showers). That's the shower head sticking out of the ceiling, by the way.

About that...

First off, you know when I said hopefully it'd wouldn't be six months before I wrote again? Yeah, oops. Sorry about that. Secondly, you remember how I said that Adam and I probably wouldn't buy a house. Yeah, we did. I've been regretting that decision fairly regularly over the last couple of months we've lived here, but I do still love it. I feel almost adult-like for owning a home.

Part of why I haven't posted for so long--beyond the laziness, of course--is because we were without a regular internet connection from the day we fully moved (28th of August; we took possession August 15th) until October 1st. I'm still so unbelievably angry about the multitude of fuck-ups that caused that to happen that I don't want to write about it, but we were supposed to be connected on September 4th. The only good thing to come out of it is that we've got 5 free months from the company.

Beyond the laziness and lack of internet there's been the dealing with the house. Turns out the previous owner was a lying son of a bitch, which, while not uncommon, is frustrating and has cost us (and by us, I mean the awesome relatives who have bought us housewarming presents) nearly £1500 so far. And it's not done yet. Our solicitor (who happens to be a co-worker's mother, a mistake I will not make again), so far as I can tell, did not even do the most basic aspects of the job for which we paid her. So far as we can tell, the damp that was found by the inspector in the new house (a key reason why we wanted to move out of the Lewisham Road flat) won't be covered by the damp-proofing guarantee because that wall was not treated. Of course we chose to purchase the house knowing about this, because we were told there was a guarantee, and we asked our solicitor to send us a copy of that so that we could confirm that we could have it repaired under the guarantee (i.e. not out of our pocket). But instead of sending us the full details at that time, we just got the page of the guarantee. Not, you know, a copy of the work that was done, which we received about 3 weeks after we moved in. Awesome. Now I have to ask an ombudsman if we have some kind of case against our solicitor, and might possibly be suing our solicitor for gross incompetence. She also couldn't tell us who owns the plot of land next to us. Adam and I found that information, along with the date of sale, in the same pile of paperwork that included the specifics of the damp-proofing. Did I mention it's my co-worker's mother?

There are pictures of the house, many, MANY pictures, but I have to get them off the tablet to share them. Since we still have large quantities of boxes in the house, that's easier said than done since I can't find the SD card adaptor, but I just managed to guilt-trip myself into finding an alternate (and in fact easier) way to get them onto my computer, so I'll post those separately.

As for the regrets of buying, it's not the costs of replacing all the shit that lying Simon said worked (the dishwasher, the cooker, basically any kitchen appliance), or even the incompetence of our solicitor, but, once again, our neighbours. Always the neighbours. Woo. We live in a back-to-back end-terrace, which for my British friends, probably makes sense, but is rather incomprensible to those who live in a society where duplexes aren't that common. Row, or terraced, housing means a string of homes that are all part of one building. Generally, they go all the way through the property, so you have both front and back walls of the house, but your side walls are shared with a neighbour. Like a duplex or a triplex, but usually quite a few more than that. End-terraced homes are more expensive, because they only share one wall. But because ours is a back-to-back, we actually don't go all the way through, and we have two shared walls (it's a very bizarre row). We also have no garden/yard, which is fine, but will make it more difficult when we get a dog (for we WILL get a dog. Or two.).

The neighbour on the side seems to be a single mother with a 4-5 year old. Her preferred method of parenting is to scream at her child. Constantly. Also, she tries to reason with the child, as in she tries to use logic to win arguments. With a 4-5 year old. Because that'll work even better than screaming. The kid is probably a little shithead, but anyone would be if they're constantly screamed at by their mother. It's some of the worst parenting I can imagine short of physically harming a child.

The neighbours on the back side are big on shouting as well, but that's mostly because their music is turned up so loudly that they have to shout to be heard. This applies also when the music isn't on, since it's clearly made them deaf. Also, they listen to club music. That's it. Bad dance music, never anything else. And they watch Family Guy quite loudly in what we think is their bedroom (anyway, it's next to our bedroom, and since the homes should be roughly mirrored, it would make sense). Also, they seem to think it's ok to blast music and have stupidly loud--and just stupid--and drunk people around until well after 2am. Yes, it may be the weekend, but some of us have to be in to work by 7am some weekends. Touch wood, that seems to have lessened a bit, but we'll see.

The good news is that the neighbours on the other side of screamy mum are pretty cool. Will and Rachel (I might be making their names up a bit) are very nice, come into work all the time because they like the Bakery, and Will is a brewer (complete with awesome red beard). He actually brews for a living, when he's not setting up new breweries or organizing some of the awesome local-ish beer festivals (including the fairly major Indy Man, and he also helped start up Port Street Beer House in Manchester, which Adam and I love). He told us about one that he just set up in Leeds, and Adam and I went to it and had a blast. So Will's ok, and Rachel seems lovely (she doesn't come in as often; I think she has a real job), and their dog is quietly cute. Good people. We hope to get to know them better, and hope they like board games!

I should go shower. I am dusty from working in a bakery, and tired from making 14 cakes and a double batch of sablé dough today. As a sidenote, that's not a cake record for me. Also, that's not as much as it sounds, since I only made 5 types. I've done more and more variety, but I'm not feeling well today, so I'm rather impressed I got that many. Though if a pan hadn't gone missing, I would have made 15 cakes, 3 each of 5 varieties. As it stands, I made 3 Apple and Olive Oil, 3 Tunisian Orange and Almond, 3 Chocolate Guinness, 3 Kladdakaka (gooey Swedish chocolate torte), and 2 ginger loaves (don't know where the third pan went). Over the course of the week, at least 2 more cakes will be made (baked Polish cheesecake, which I hate making), and probably another batch of ginger cakes. Lemon cake may also be made, and I might suck it up and try to harvest a bit more rhubarb for another couple of Rhubarb Polenta cakes. In theory, all those cakes should be cut into 10, and yes, we sell all of those cakes in a week. Pretty cool, really.

Photos tomorrow, I hope. It's late.

2014 Reading List: September

SEPTEMBER

32. The Birth of Venus, by Sarah Dunant (for reading group)
31. The Clairvoyant Countess, by Dorothy Gilman
30. Anita and Me, by Meera Syal (for reading group. The lack of these was due to problems getting copies of anything for the group. Also, I was late finishing this one.)
29.  An Acceptable Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (fifth written of the Time Quintet)

AUGUST

*28. Many Waters, by Madeleine L'Engle (fourth written of the Time Quintet)
*27. A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeleine L'Engle (third written of the Time Quintet)
26. Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, by Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Chris Samnee (graphic novel)
Elmer and the Hippos, by David McKee (since it's a kid's book and took 5 minutes, doesn't count)
*25. A Wind in the Door, by Madeleine L'Engle (second written of the Time Quintet)
*24. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (first written of the Time Quintet)

JULY

23. Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant Series #4)
22. The Kill Order, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy prequel. Do not read this.)
21. Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow (you should read this. It's an interesting successor to its namesake, Orwell's 1984)

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)

2014 Reading List: August

AUGUST

*28. Many Waters, by Madeleine L'Engle (fourth written of the Time Quintet)
*27. A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeleine L'Engle (third written of the Time Quintet)
26. Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, by Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Chris Samnee (graphic novel)
Elmer and the Hippos, by David McKee (since it's a kid's book and took 5 minutes, doesn't count)
*25. A Wind in the Door, by Madeleine L'Engle (second written of the Time Quintet)
*24. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L'Engle (first written of the Time Quintet)

JULY

23. Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant Series #4)
22. The Kill Order, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy prequel. Do not read this.)
21. Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow (you should read this. It's an interesting successor to its namesake, Orwell's 1984)

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)

2014 Reading List: July

JULY

23. Broken Homes, by Ben Aaronovitch (Peter Grant Series #4)
22. The Kill Order, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy prequel. Do not read this.)
21. Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow (you should read this. It's an interesting successor to its namesake, Orwell's 1984)

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)

2014 Reading List: June

JUNE

20. Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas, by John Scalzi
19. The Cuckoo's Calling, by Robert Galbraith (pen name for J. K. Rowling)
18. Death Cure, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #3)
17. The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #2)
16. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters (for reading group)

MAY
15. The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (for reading group)

APRIL

14. Island of Wings, by Karin Altenberg (for reading group)
*13. The Indian in the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

MARCH

12. Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
11. Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 2 of the Leviathan Trilogy)
*10. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline B. Cooney
9. Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld (Book 1 of the Leviathan Trilogy)

FEBRUARY

8. Bitter Blue, by Cath Staincliffe (Sal Kilkenny Series #6) (for reading group)
7. For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology (contains three novellas: A Christmas for Carrie by Alison Packard, Christmas Curveball by Shari Mikels, and Kissing Her Scrooge by Kinley Cade)
6. Catching Heat (Feeling the Heat), by Alison Packard
5. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner (The Maze Runner Trilogy #1)
4. Walking Home, Travels with a Troubadour on the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage (for reading group)

JANUARY

3. The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente
2. Edible History: Easy Recipes for Homemade Mother of Vinegar, Apple Cider Vinegar, and Wine Vinegar, by Cassandra Cookson (short, but I want to make my own apple cider vinegar. Probably won't, but want to.)
1. Zeus of Ithome, by T. E. Taylor (written by one of the guys in my writer's group. Really great guy, enjoyable book.)