Bits-O-News

Better than Bit-O-Honey.  Yuck.

First, I'm going to be an aunt.  Since I've never had an aunt, and my only uncle died when I was seven, I have no idea what this entails.  Come March, I guess I'll learn.  What it won't entail is diaper changing or babysitting, at least until such age as the child does not need diapers (and then it may still be debatable).  I say this because they tried to get me to hold another baby (seven weeks) on Sunday, and I ran for the hills.  Adam held him, however.  Twice.  Complained that the child was heavy.  The kid is under 14 pounds and is only seven weeks old.  Clearly Adam is just going to be a joy with a toddler.

Second, I am now published.  No, I have not suddenly finished my novel, sold it, and got it on the shelves--in fact, it's been about two weeks since I've even written because I was prepping for last week's interview most of the past two weeks (writing resumes today)--but the article I wrote with other members of Girl Museum over a year ago is finally online.  I'm thrilled that I'm legitimately published (yes, online journals are in fact legitimate nowadays), but more than a little peeved that it's taken so long for this to come out.  I completed the re-edit of it back in April, and they only gave us a few weeks then, so I want to know why it didn't come out until August.  Oh well.  Still, published is published, so now I have to find room for it on my CV.  If you care (trust me, you don't) the issue of "Rhizomes 22: Becoming-Girl" can be found here.  Our article is entitled BECOMING-GIRL-MUSEUM, and since I don't feel like linking twice, you can read down the table of contents to find it.  A word of warning, however: it's written from a Deleuzian philosophical standpoint.  If you don't understand what that means, don't worry.  We the authors were a bit lost as well (hence part of the need of the massive re-edit I did back in April).

Not really much else.  Mom and Dad are off to Portland (or there already, I think) for a couple of nights, and Barbara is a rockstar and house/dog-sitting.  Aven is apparently excited because that means he can play with Faith.  Faith is learning to warm-up to men faster now (she still takes some time), and Aven is a sweetie and wants to play with her, so I'm hoping he can run a couple of pounds off of her--provided he can get her to chase the ball or frisbee more than twice before she buggers off to go lay down.  If he can, that puts him head-and-shoulders above the rest of us.  If not, I hope he enjoys tromping across the yard to retrieve the ball/frisbee himself (or I suppose he can leave it there for later, which I've been known to do).

Come to think of it, I'm slightly worried as to the state of my bedroom if there are guests there (even old family friends such as Barbara and Aven).  The heavy coating of dust worries me less--since we don't live there keeping it dust free is not my responsibility--than whatever mess may or may not have been left there from last Thanksgiving.  Or whatever mess was placed there by not-me.  Hmm...yes, it's cramped, since there's still half-a-house's worth of furniture in there, but I worry about the clutter.  Enh.  I suppose the sheer amount of hippos will distract, as well as impress, amuse, or terrify, depending on individual temperament.

I shall leave you with this article to peruse, should you so desire.  It so perfectly sums up why I hate Sean Penn.  "Sean Penn Can’t Understand Why Terrence Malick Didn’t Let Him ACT! More"

My Hippy Ways

First let me start by saying that moving to England from Eugene has really taken a toll on my hippyesque ways.  I know that's probably not very surprising, given the nature of Eugene, but it's hit me in some rather painful ways.  For example, in Eugene, when I had my parents' money to shop with (hi Mom!), it was a lot easier to be organic, all-natural, local, sustainable, and humane with food purchases.  Thankfully, Mom and Dad are pretty into that movement as well, so there was less cringing at 2.5 times the price for organic rather than "conventional" bell peppers and the like.  (Sidenote: Why is the spread of toxic fertilizers and pesticides considered conventional?  Surely it's more conventional, given history, to be organic?  There's nothing particularly conventional about poisoning people, unless you're in Russia, mystery novels, or various royal families throughout history.)  And though milk from DairyMart/Lochmead Farms isn't technically organic, they're local and very good about their practices.  Long's Meat Market is superb--I'm pretty sure Mike goes out and meets a lot of the animals he'll eventually be selling.

Over here, though, food purchasing is constricted by two (well, three) things.  First, we don't gots a lot of money.  And we're cheap.  It's a combination--since we don't earn as much as we'd like, we save every penny.  I spend more on food than Adam would by a long shot (since Adam does the shopping, that's a second constricting factors), since I think the quality of what goes in me is important, but even still, I make choices to not buy organic much of the time.  I also end up buying a lot of apples from say, New Zealand.  That's not exactly local (most of our produce comes from climates that don't suck, like Spain, or well, anywhere but here).  The third problem is that options are limited around here--not huge population, few stores--and people are cheap (welcome to Yorkshire), so organic choices are limited, as is, well, selection.  And usually the organic stuff is slightly dodgy looking, as is the "weird" stuff.  Hell, for the first time since I've moved here, I've actually seen uncooked, unpeeled beets in Morrisons (no greens attached, though).  I've only seen that one other time, and that was at the farm shop (the closest to hippy around here).

The biggest concession I've made Adam make is that we get nearly all our meat from the farm shop.  That's what it sounds like; a shop on a farm; they sell eggs from their chickens (they also will sell you feed so you can feed the chickens yourself--what a great scam!), the chickens themselves, and all the beef, pork, lamb they raise.  They also make their own sausages (tasty, though we do get ours from Morrisons).  They also sell some produce, some they grow, some they don't.  And they have beer, wine, an olive bar, and some random other crap.  It's not perfect, but at least it's local, we believe humane (the chickens certainly are well treated), and should be reasonably organic and sustainable.  The meat and eggs sure taste better.

I've increased my hippyness in some ways, I suppose, though.  I walk or take public transit a lot of places.  Granted, that's mostly due to our not having a car, and Tony pollutes for us, since he takes us shopping every week and runs occasional errands for us (greatly appreciated).  So I guess that about balances out.

What this post was really supposed to be about, however, was my new neti pot and my reusable sea sponges and panty liners.  I've really broadened my hippy horizons there.  I got the neti pot for two reasons.  First, I got a horrid cold twice in about 6 weeks, so bad the second time that I lost my voice (Adam was thrilled.  Jackass.)  Out of sheer desperation, I snorted some water into my sinuses through my nose.  As painful as that was, it made a world of difference, and I started getting better almost instantly.  The second reason is that I mentioned that incident to Kristan, and she told me she had a neti pot and swore by it.  It's taken some time for me to get used to it, but now that I'm getting all the water draining out of my nose (I don't think I was there, at first), my nose is stuffed less often, and I'm even hearing a little better (once I got the water back OUT of my Eustachian tubes).  Even if I'm doing a half-assed job--which I think I am--I'm sure I'm cleaning gunk out of there that's better off not there.  And if Adam doesn't stop snoring soon, I'm neti potting him somehow.

My really happy awesome purchase, however, falls into the potential category of "too much information."  Years ago, my friend Kat mentioned that you could get sea sponges--yes, the things that live in the ocean--for reusable tampons.  I don't think she had any, but the idea never went away for me, because I hate how much tampons cost.  I mentioned it several months back to Kristan (who has also gone quite hippy, which makes me smile), who immediately told me where to get some, and then told me to tell her what I thought.  So I got two sponges, and three months later when my period came around again (thank you, The Pill), I read the instructions, and ventured into the unknown world of reusable dead things in my hoo-hah.  In short, they're super-comfortable, and they work just as well as cotton tampons.  If you're in private, you can just rinse it out and stick it back in (I wouldn't in a public bathroom, since I doubt others want to see it, so just shove it in a plastic bag in your purse).  Plus, they're sustainable, organic, unlikely to cause TSS, comfortable (did I mention they're comfortable?), and, if this wasn't already clear, reusable for quite a long time (estimated 3-6 months or longer).  I used only one for my entire period, and just rinsed it a couple of times a day.  You can also use two at once, I guess, or use them for contraceptives with a spermicide.  The only downside to the sponges is that they have no removal string...I got used to that, but it takes some work.  You can sew a piece of dental floss (I think they said waxed, but I'm not sure) into it if you're nervous, but I was more nervous about tearing the sponge than it getting stuck.  I work off of the principle of "what goes up must come down."  And we only had mint dental floss.

I also mentioned reusable panty liners.  They're a bit weird (probably because I never use pantyliners or pads), but I love the concept.  Cotton or flannel material with a waterproof middle, and snaps so they function like winged pads, which is what holds them in place.  I got cotton, but I think I'll go with flannel in the future.  The best bit about them though (besides having fun patterns and being reusable--just chuck them in the washer), is that they were a good length.  Most pantyliners I've found make you decide if you want to possibly leak off the front, or off the back.  These are long enough you don't have to choose.  Plus, since they're not adhesived on, you can actually slide them around to get them just right.

What all of this really amounts to though is Adam mocking me because I'm a hippy.  But then, so does everyone else around here.  Apparently "hippy" is the new "liberal."  But I'm not "progressive," I'm liberal, so I'm happy being a hippy.

Yardwork Update

First, I would like to note that there is no homeowner's association where my folks live. This is good, because--like Heather mentioned with condo associations--they are evil. My neighbors should not be able to control what colour my house is, nor I theirs. For the record, if that's ever a situation I'm placed in, I will happily approve ANY colour. Neon green? Sure! Black? Hey, why not? Polka-dotted? If you can do it, go for it! In general, I own my property, so you can kiss my ass.

I bring this up because the other day I found a large roll of leaf bags (aka giant garbage bags) placed on one of our garbage bins outside. I don't know who placed them there, but I do know it was Thursday or Friday afternoon (can't remember which). This was after I spent three damn days hauling leaves out of the yard (see previous post for number of trees on this property). To provide a timeline for the last week:

• Monday: Spent 24 hours travelling from the UK to Eugene, arriving Monday at 8:30pm.
• Tuesday: Spent the afternoon working on the tons of oak leaves in the backyard.
• Wednesday: Spent much of the day (4-6 hours) in the front yard, raking and mowing leaves not only in the front yard's grass, but also from the porch, driveway, carport, and side yard (including part of the neighbor's yard as a courtesy). Then did more work in the backyard (including stepping in at least one pile of dog poo).
• Thursday: Starting at 8am, spent another 2 hours in the front yard, raking up everything new that fell overnight, and dumping it all in the pickup truck to take to Lane Forest Products ($2.50 to get rid of it all, and they recycling). Walked dog, and then off to Lane Forest. Then it started to rain, so I called it good (and quietly cried when I saw MORE leaves falling...again).

So imagine my irritation when I find this roll of leaf bags on Saturday. I've worked incredibly hard on the yard, as a courtesy to my parents and the neighbors, as well as for myself and my in-laws. There are a variety of possibilities as to why they turned up: it looked like we might not have leaf bags because I was putting them in the truck (that was because I didn't want 10,000 full bags in the carport all winter), someone found them and thought they might be ours, or--and what I think is most likely--someone thinks I need to put more work into the yard.

If someone thinks I need to put my work into lawn maintenance, that's fine. But have the balls to tell me to my face. TALK to me. Don't pull any passive-aggressive bullshit. If you talk to me about it, I'll be nice, and I'll explain where I'm coming from. Chances are, I'll even make an effort to comply with your wishes, at least partially. But sneak around, try to make subtle, annoymous hints? Yeah, I'm not doing any more yard work (at least not in the front) until probably Thursday now. I'd love to get those leaves up sooner, but since I think someone doesn't like how I'm taking care of the yard, they can now deal with it. Or, to quote from Zombieland (a totally kickass movie, by the way), "Nut up or shut up."

Homeownership is a bitch

Granted, I don't actually own a home, but I'm housesitting for my folks, and goddammit I wish for once they'd go on vacation some time other than November. It seems like every damn year they head off right when all the leaves fall off the trees.

And have I mentioned that we have two tall trees in the front yard, an absolutely giant oak tree in the back, and like 6 other trees? Plus a bunch of leaves from our neighbors' trees. To sum up, that's a fuckton of leaves. I've already loaded the back of the pickup truck once, and a giant rolling bin. And another trashcan full. Plus I dumped about 10 wheelbarrow loads of leaves behind the shed.

Oh, and it always rains, making it even harder to get the leaves up.

I want a condo.