Weekly reviews

I've decided to start a new project for myself. As part of an effort to hone my storytelling skills I've decided to do a weekly "reviews" post. I feel that by evaluating and critiquing other storylines I can perhaps better grasp what needs to happen in my own. And if not, it's still probably worth doing for some reason or another that I can't come up with right now. I'll probably focus primarily on the multitude of books I read (new and previously read) and movies (ditto), but I'm quite sure that TV shows/episodes will be included, as well as meals that I make. So it should be varied. There will also be spoilers, and I'm not going to try and see if I can tag them, so if you don't want to be surprised, don't read the reviews that I (hopefully remember) to mark at the top as "spoilers". Normally I'll be writing these on Sunday, but I wanted to touch on these two right now

House (Spoilers if you haven't watched through Season 5, Episode 20)

Although I'm planning on doing my reviews once a week on Sundays, I'm currently trying to get caught up on my backlog of House episodes. I haven't watched it in a few weeks, so imagine my surprise when Kutner (that's "Kumar" to my father) committed suicide. I watched Episode 18 a few weeks ago, and today decided to watch 19 and 20, and possibly 21 (haven't watched that yet). Episode 19 was good, standard House. The nice thing about House is that it can be different every week, yet the show still follows a fairly standard formula. This doesn't bother me much, and actually, when they tried to break away from the formula I got irritated--this specifically bothered me when they dealt with House's ex and their past, and again when they had the police officer trying to get House arrested. For those not familiar with the episode formula, it pretty closely follows this:

1. Show weekly patient in personal life

2. Show weekly patient falling suddenly ill

3. Have case somehow presented to House and team

4. Light touch on personal life of {fill in the blank}

5. Diagnose and treat multiple times, discovering that the diagnosis is wrong.

6. During #5, continuing second, minor story arc on {same as #4}

7. Eventually discover correct diagnosis (probably not lupus)

8. Weekly patient either lives (usually) or dies (rarely, and this is more likely if it's a recurring character).

Because people like routine, this works out really well; viewers get new, interesting plots on a weekly basis, in a format they are comfortable and happy with. Periodically the writers try to shake things up (giving House a new team, fixing his leg--or not, putting him in treatment, etc.) but mostly they stick with this format, and everyone is more or less happy. Medical drama--always popular--takes center stage, with enough "personal life" plot notes to help us know and/or care about the recurring characters. On a sidenote, Yahoo! reports that people really hate Thirteen, but I like her well enough, so whatever.

But I digress. Kutner committed suicide in episode 20. Where this worked is also where it failed for me. Ahh...dichotomy. It failed because neither the writers nor Kal Penn, the actor, gave any indication in the leadups that he was suicidal. That said, that's why the episode worked. They did a good job dealing with the possibilities for why he killed himself, and gave House a mystery to solve beyond the weekly patient. The plot formula actually reversed a bit this week, making the personal lives the main story arc, and the weekly patient the secondary (which was all to the good since it was a lame medical issue). The subplot usually has some echoing or similarities to the main plot, and this week was no exception to that rule, but it also isn't realy important to my point. No one could see why Kutner would want to kill himself, and so House, who prides himself on seeing everything and solving mysteries, wants to know both why Kutner did it, and how he (House) missed the signs. As always, it is all about House.

I think what I liked best about this episode was the inclusion of a suicide hotline number at the end of the episode. It was an ok send-off for a main character (I though Amber's was much, much better), but because I watched this one back-to-back with the previous episode, it worked for me better. Kutner was the star in the previous episode, solving the vast majority of the case and having the best ideas, and House even offered a bit of praise. I felt like suddenly (and perhaps a bit abruptly) Kutner grew into his own.

While I'm a bit sad Kutner is gone, I'm pleased to find out why Kal Penn left the show. It turns out that he asked to be released from the show so as to "go work for the Barack Obama Administration as the Associate Director in the White House Office of Public Liaison" (I quote from his bio on IMDb. Wicked. I also found out his real name and his issues with his role on 24 which shows him in a totally different light than the slight goobery character he is in House. It also casts his roles as "Kumar" in a slightly different light (note, I have not seen any of the "Harold and Kumar" movies). His bio can be found here.

And a short review on Desperate Housewives (Spoilers if you haven't watched through Season 5, Episode 19)

This is, to be fair, less of a review and more of a thank you to Marc Cherry and the other writers for giving Edie a proper sendoff. While I wasn't thrilled that they decided to eliminate her character (they were forced by the studio to cut a cast member for budgetary reasons), she was the most logical of the highest-paid cast members to axe. Additionally, I imagine they'll be able to cut at least one other cast member by the end of this season because of her death (granted, the plotline of her husband Dave will most likely end this season anyway).

What was so nice about this particular episode was--again--that it was moderately formulaic. But as I said, people do crave consistancy and routine most of the time--it's comforting. But when it's well done, it really is nice. In her final (I presume, haven't seen episode 20 yet) episode, Nicollette Sheridan narrated instead of the usual Brenda Strong, and we got to see Edie in some new lights. She was still the moderately bitchy, selfish woman she always was, but we could also see the other sides of her, through flashbacks. Each of the main "housewives" (except for Katherine) and Mrs. McCluskey went on a roadtrip with Edie's ashes to present her to her son (and tell him she died...this wasn't well thought out, minus the mention of why her ex-husband didn't know, but enh). On the trip, they decided to tell stories about Edie. This is a well-used plot device in some form or another, but it worked well. They kept Edie's character balanced between how we usually saw her, and some acts of kindess she committed--if in her own, slightly brutal, way. And the final story, told by Mrs. McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten, whom I dearly love as an actress--she was on The West Wing as well), explained part of Edie's past and her reasoning with effectively abandoning her son.

So to sum up, it wasn't the best episode of anything I've ever seen. But that said, it was really well done. I know that Nicollette Sheridan was angry with the decision to cut her from the show, and I would be too. But at least they gave her character a nice send-off, and I do hope she appreciates that. I also hope she lands something really big and can thumb her nose at the studio for it.

I wanna help!

News story is here.

I really do want to get in on this and help out. I can't afford to donate money, but perhaps I can help waterboard Sean Hannity. I want to do my bit for my country too.* Afterall, waterboarding isn't torture--Bush and Hannity both said so.**

Yeah, perhaps Keith Olbermann does at times give the left a bad name, but he's no Bill-O or Hannity. I wonder if he's stopped announcing the number of days since Bush delcared "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq...I don't get to watch "Countdown" here. Or anything that's broadcast on TV, really...


*I imagine there's a rather long waiting list to waterboard Sean Hannity.
**Two people who have not experienced it firsthand (or witnessed it), so they're well qualified to judge.

New kitchen-related things learned...

Apparently glass isn't impermeable.  I just assumed it was.  The applesauce I made a couple of weeks ago and froze in a jar that once contained something else (why, why would you buy news jars unless you're canning?) tasted vaguely of jalapeños.  I like applesauce, and I like salsa (the previous use of said jar) but together?  Mmm...not so much.

That jar is now in the recycling pile.  Too bad really, but I'm not risking that again.

I suppose all that jalapeñoeyness could have come from the lid, but best to not be taking chances.  I like my applesauce to taste like apples.

Also, and this is not so new a revelation, pork only needs to reach an internal temperature of 137º F and stay there for 11 minutes to kill anything that could be in it.  I cooked my roast today to an internal temp. of 150º (yeah, set the probe, forgot to turn on the alarm--should have gone off at 148º).  Juicy and moist, full of flavour.  De-lish-ous.  Even with the slightly spicy applesauce.  And a 2.5 pound roast took less than 30 minutes/pound.  Lesson here?  DO NOT overcook your pork.  That delicate flavour is smothered when you do that.  Except for bacon.  Crispy bacon is tasty.  Though Adam cries whenever I cook bacon.

Writing and research frustrations

I can't decide if it's easier or hard to work with a mythos that is vague, varied, and open, or one that has a pretty rigid structure and set of facts ("facts"?).

On one hand, I suppose it's nice to be able to write without being bound to a strict set of rules and general knowledge, but on the other hand, it's probably easier if (quite frankly) I don't have to be creative and can just work within a nice laid-out structure.  So this should be...fun.  I'll sift through the crap I can find on the internet and see if I can't create a set of rules for myself tomorrow.  I won't need much, just a basic framework.

At least the prologue is done.  While I don't think this start of Chapter 1 will be the hardest, it is frustrating me right now.  But hopefully I can knock a good chunk of it out tomorrow.  I'm just glad I finally settled on what voice I'm writing in (third person), as it did lovely things like even out my tenses.  First person sucks for that; at least in my case I write in a really awful past tense.  Occasionally it slips out of past tense, which just makes it all worse.  At least third person's past tense is consistent, a standard story-telling tense, and can assume outside knowledge.  First person is extremely limiting.  Glad I dropped it.  Besides, my prologue is now longer than the majority of my original first chapter.  And it needed to be.  Prologue *should* be--if I'm guessing words-per-page correctly (for standard mass-market paperback)--about 10 pages.  W00t.

Off to bed with me.  Let's see if the new duvet is warm enough for Adam without killing me.  He's mad because I bought a 10.5 tog and a 4.5 tog.  We had a 13.5 tog.  If you don't know what togs are, I'm right there with you, but they recommend 13.5 for winter, 9 for spring/autumn, and 4-5 for summer.  Adam would happily sleep under a 28.5 combo of the three in summer, but between the memory-foam mattress topper (which irritatingly enough moves every night.  I have no idea how or why but it's obnoxious and frustrating and I have to remake the bed EVERY day) and the heavy duvet, I'm tired of damn-near drowning in sweat.  Oh well, at least now we have plenty of duvet options for any guests we may have.  Namely Claudia, who shall be here at the end of May, we hope.  And we shall get her drunk, for she will have just finished a major presentation.

Sad...I never thought I would lose my desire to sleep under things that weigh 50 pounds.  I think Death Valley had something to say about that--I would have taken off my skin to sleep had it been an option there.  I fear that I am becoming (more) my mother.

Right.  NOW off to bed.

Just in case you needed an idea for a present

This looks like perhaps it will be one of the true modern literary classics. Or not...

I really need to get it for Levi :) I'll just have to read it first.

Comments

Well, I just realized I need to have blogger email comments to me. Since apparently I don't seem to notice them otherwise. I just found a ton!

I'll be better about responding to comments from now on.

From the ones I've read so far: Camille, you and Matt are most welcome to visit, but we don't have a place to house you. And we live in a non-exciting part of England. But Manchester is cool, and it's only an hour away :) Brie, the same goes for you and Steve (and Catherine, if you really want to fly a small child that far). Also, I'll probably be up through T-town this summer, so maybe a get-together can be arranged. The last time I was up there was for Andy Graff's wedding, and I was only there for a very short time.

Claudia: as one of my parents' history profs once said about a guy who always said "an historic": "he's an horse's ass".

Kristan: I think a bazooka might be overkill, but it would get the point across.

Heather: No internet party, but a cunning plan! Someone gave us 2 nice leather sofas for the cost of two bottles of wine (which only ran us about £7), so I think we've pretty much used up our present karma :) Save up in case you need to get a present for us this winter. Also, are there two Heather's who have written me comments, or just the lovely girl I know as "Jewish Heather" (who I know commented as Zilla and WavesHi, but I don't know about Heather--private profile, and the pic is really small)?

Why I hate travelling, Part 2

I know this is incredibly belated, but I've been working on other things. Namely, not blogging. No excuses today though, and I'm trying to get stuff cleared off my to-do list. The first part of my saga of trying to get to England is here.

Right, so where I left off, I had just checked in. I think. I hate Atlanta airport, but not as much as other airports I've been to (Vegas comes to mind, and O'Hare if you're arriving from international flights and transferring to domestic). But minus having to pull everything out of my two carry-on bags AGAIN, and take off my shoes, it wasn't too bad. That said, I don't encourage travelling with a laptop, and a PS2. Oddly enough, they don't want to see the external harddrive or the 3 iPods (yes, I am a geek, and if I had more money I'd have at least one of every model and version of the iPod that's ever been made), but that PS2 and my thin little joy of an iBook, yeah, those I'm gonna use as bombs...

Anyways, the flight was relatively uneventful. Meaning at this point I don't really remember anything about it, including where I was sitting. Oh, yeah. As is typical for my bladder (Pavlovian training works on those, too, thanks Mom...) I have to pee whenever I leave the house. Good training for a small child, but can become problematic if over-enforced as the child grows up. Meaning now I have to pee anytime there might be a chance that I won't get to for 10 or more minutes. So shortly before our final approach I made the trip down the aisle. And yet, when I got off the plane about 30 minutes later, I was running for the loos in Manchester Airport. Which meant I was literally the second-to-last person in the non-UK passport/visa holders line. Which turned out to be ok, since I had to spend about 20 minutes (maybe more) being grilled by a border patrol agent.

Here's why this makes me so angry. I hate being treated like a criminal when there is no evidence to support that fact. I hate the assumption that I am entering a foreign country to find work illegally, or to illegally use the benefits of that country. First, I don't lie very well, so my trying to commit illegal acts is a rather poor idea. I tend to get caught. Second, I don't like breaking the law (yes, for me this includes speeding--I do it, but not like most people, and I at least recognize that I am breaking the law). Third, working in the UK is not exactly a glorious thing. Salaries here suck compared to the states, and with the aforementioned incompetence at breaking the law, I'd end up paying taxes on my wages in TWO countries. Yeah, that's right. The US is one of the only nations--if not THE only nation--to tax citizenship, not just residency. And they tax you at the same rate as if you're living in the US and using services there. So for every £1 I'd make here, I'd probably only take home about 20 pence. Maybe a bit more if the pay rate was really low. Plus, while I'm 100% in favour of a national universal health plan (one that you can't opt out of, unlike here), I'm not impressed with the doctors here. I've loved the nurses and nurse practitioners I've seen, but the doctors, well...the one actual doctor I saw was a douchebag. And I knew some medics while I was at the Uni of Leicester, and they were nice, but I don't like the idea of people entering their residency at age 22-23. In the states, you have to get a Bachelor's before entering med school, but here, you go straight in. That just makes me nervous--I prefer a bit more age and maturity.

So I digress yet again, but no, I'm not here to mooch off the system, and I don't like being indirectly accused of that. I also don't like being told that "The US would never allow *me* to enter the country for three months". Yeah, so? That's also patently not true. And don't act like the UK is the only "welfare state" (a phrase she used several times) on the planet. Additionally, she wanted to know how much money I had in my bank account (that is reasonable, as is the amount in my account) and how much cash I had on me. I still don't understand the point of that question. But I guess it was important because when I said "I can see a cash machine, which I was planning on using" that wasn't acceptable at all, but "About $40 and a few pounds" was fine. She also grilled me about why I was coming in on a tourist visa (because obviously that makes me a criminal) instead of getting a different type of visa. When I tried to tell her that I had looked at the other types of visas a few years ago and I wasn't eligable, she snapped at me that she didn't care about the past, why didn't I do it this time. That absolute rudeness (she interrupted me) almost made me lose it, but I manged to tell her that, while I understood she didn't care about the past, it mattered, because I did look to see if I had enough points to apply for a work visa, and I was about 25 points off in August 2006, and my circumstances had not changed between now and then. She had implied that were I only 5 points away it wouldn't be a big deal. Except I wasn't.

She also wanted to call Adam to verify my story, which was just great, since she wouldn't let me turn on my computer or my cell phone to get his number. Luckily, he was at the airport, so she just paged him to a phone and talked to him there. Apparently he backed up my story.

Our story by the way, which is 100% true, was this. We've been dating for over three years, having met in the Fencing Club at the Uni of Leicester. Most of our relationship has been long distance, but we think we might want to get married. However, until we live together for a while, we don't know if it will actually work out, seeing as how much of our relationship has been conducted via chat programs, the phone, and vacations. The reason I was moving to the UK instead of Adam moving to the states was economic--he has a job, I don't. Had I gotten a job, he probably would have moved to the states.

Oh, and at some point in all of this hassle, she accused me of changing my story. She claimed ("I have it written down right here") that I said that Adam bought my plane tickets. I know damned well I didn't say that, because that was never discussed as an option. So she either heard wrong, or she was trying to catch me in a lie. Of course I was smart enough to not say "no, you're wrong, I didn't say that and you need to listen and not assume". I did say "I'm sorry. I suppose I might have misspoken, but no, he didn't buy the plane tickets. That was never something we even thought him paying for." I didn't misspeak. I often do, but when I do it's generally because the misspeak may have been an option, or something I hoped for, etc.

Finally though, she let me into the country until the day of my return tickets, but NOT the full six month tourist visa. She wrote a case number in my passport, so that if Adam and I travelled anywhere I could give that number to the agent and they should let me back in without a problem (Dublin wasn't a problem; the agent saw that I had been stamped in at one point and waved me through). She also told me to take with me proof of my return tickets (which I wouldn't have had hard copies of for her if Delta hadn't cocked up). I did make a point of asking what would happen to me if Delta screwed up my flight again, and she said that would be beyond my control, so I wouldn't get in trouble.

Finally, I picked up my two heavy carry-ons, staggered through passport control trying to look contrite (and not pissed off), found Adam, grabbed a (free in the UK) luggage trolley, and loaded my two 49.9 pound (guess the weight limit) suitcases onto it. I immeadiately checked to make sure my precious Henckel 5 Star Pro knives hadn't been nicked out of my locked (and TSA opened) suitcase, and started on the interminably long walk from Terminal 1 to the airport train station. But at least I had Adam with me :)

And now, we have our own flat, complete with door-slamming neighbours. Who walk like elephants. And have lots of drunk, loud friends who leave at 11pm. Nightly.

Umm....what?

As of just this moment, the Seattle Mariners, my beloved boys in blue, are leading the AL West, and have the second best record in the American League.

What? How's that again?

Figures. I move 6000 miles away and they maybe pull it together (yes, I know it's a bit early to tell). Perhaps I will go up to Seattle and see a game or two this summer after I get back. Adam's never been to a baseball game. Perhaps he'll be drug along. I'll have to put up with him laughing at the fat men running, but tis a small price to pay to be at the ballpark.

Now to check on the NL, and hope the Cubbies are doing better than the M's. :)

Your daily dose of WTF

And believe or not, it's all true!  The link to the full article is here.

Ron Paul wants to hire privateers to deal with the Somali pirate situation.  I'm not sure if it's absolutely brilliant, or the most cracked-out scheme I've heard of.  I think my real fear is that they won't be so much privateers/bounty hunters as vigilantes, and that's not good.

For what it's worth, I don't support what the pirates do.  That said, I do understand the desperate drive to try and provide for yourself and your family, and even for your country.  I would imagine that many of those who have legal means of making money (or no means at all) also support the pirates, at least to a point, because it's income for everyone (I figure trickle-down econmonics work better in really poor economies, not so much in first-world ones.  I have no proof to back this up).  Somalia is hopelessly poor, and I imagine doesn't offer much in the way of futures.  Piracy is a way out, and who doesn't want to be a pirate?  Still, I deplore what's happening out there.

One other note.  You know there's piracy in those shipping lanes, and you know you need to send your freighter through there.  You also know that the pirates don't really attack ships that can protect themselves (ie, armed ones).  Isn't it cheaper to invest in a few semi-automatic weapons and sniper rifles rather than risk being hijacked and ransomed, possibly losing the cargo, the commission for the cargo, and the crew?  Just saying...

Dial up may very well be faster...

It certainly would have been faster when I was living in Death Valley.  Satellite broadband my ass.  Nothing broad about it.  Bit bandy, maybe.

Anyways...

We don't have satellite broadband here.  Which may be my one saving grace right now.  What we do have is a continuing and overwhelming hatred of British Telecom, and we still need to file a bunch of complaints with them and various oversight/monitoring/conflict resolution companies.

Thursday we went live with our Virgin Media DSL connection.  We tried to get cable broadband, but because a) we live in an apartment complex ("Mill conversion" actually, and think small condos in actuality, but half of them are being rented out) and b) we live in the BFE (hi, welcome to Yorkshire, there's a sheep.  have fun, but avoid the cattle) cable wasn't an option in any way, shape, or form.  No matter the provider, EVERYONE here has painfully slow service, supposedly because we're far away from the {mumble} of BT.  I think it's more directly because BT sucks sweaty, feces covered monkey balls on their best days.

I mentioned we had Virgin Media though, so what gives with bitching about BT, you may ask (or you may not, but regardless, I shall tell you).  BT controls all telecom in the country.  They have you by the short curly ones, because if you need a phone line, they are the only people you can talk to.  And if you need to use that phone line, you have to pay a line rental fee.  That runs you nearly £12 per month.  And you have to sign a 12 month contract.  Sometimes after the year is up, your provider will absorb your line rental cost for you, but think about that, and then the costs of the other providers.  That said, BT is no cheaper, and was in fact quite a lot more expensive.  We've got a great deal going with Virgin, even factoring in an additional £12/month.

Well, we have a great deal with one exception.  Because we're far away from the BT hub/trunk/whatever, we have SLOW service.  But--and here's the kicker--the further away from said whatever you are, the more you have to pay for your service.  So we actually will be paying MORE for the priviledge of watching dead snails go past us on the web.  Go us!

When I say slow service, I mean sites like Kingdom of Loathing, which is a text-based game with minimal graphics, have problems loading.  Google searches rountinely fail because they can't connect.  I can't watch Yahoo! videos.  It turns out I can watch YouTube if I load it up in Firefox, not Safari, because the connection is so bad it breaks Safari.  And the videos routinely freeze in Firefox.  I have no idea if I can do video chat with my family, but I do know that iChat's text messaging crapped out on me several times when I was talking to them the other night.  If the basic messaging service dies, how will video fare?

Supposedly our service will get a little faster over the next few days, as Virgin figures out the max speed they can give up without blowing up our phone line.  We're paying for up to 8 megs of speed,and unlimited downloads, but most people report getting less than 3 megs, and usually less than 2.  As a side note, unlimited downloads are incredibly important, because every site you visit adds to your download amount, and 10 gigs isn't that much if you use the web heavily.  Even if you don't download movies or music (legal/iTunes also counts toward that limit) think about how many Yahoo! videos or YouTube clips you watch, let alone how many Google or IMDb searches you perform.  To which I say eek!  I'm always looking stuff up.

Right, so I'm back and live.  Ish.  I still have to finish my saga of getting to England, and the move.  But that, at least, in a nutshell, is why I hate BT.  And your random techie knowledge for the day (note that I'm not really a techie.  For useful information, see other people).

Off to finish making my chicken soup and dumplings, and try to get more than a couple of paragraphs written on my novel.  Novel sounds so much more pretentious than book, does it not?

Soon...

We should finally have internet at our place soon.  Then I have much to post, including further rants on Delta airlines, and more importantly, the absolute hatred I have towards British Telecom.  BT will be hearing about their incompetence soon.