Reading List: May 2011

MAY

30.  Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith (I've read Pride and Prejudice before, but sans zombies)
29.  I Am Number Four, by Pittacus Lore (pseudonym for James Frey and Jobie Hughes) (Lorien Legacies #1)
28.  *Anne of the Island, by L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables Series #3)
27.  *Anne of Avonlea, by L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables Series #2)
26.  *Anne of Green Gables, by L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables Series #1)
25.  The Red Queen, by Philippa Gregory (Cousins' War #2) 

24.  The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nests, by Stieg Larsson (Millennium Trilogy #3)

APRIL

23.  The Girl Who Played with Fire, by Stieg Larsson (Millennium Trilogy #2)

22.  Disappearing Ingenue Stories, by Melissa Pritchard

21.  The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson (Millennium Trilogy #1)

20.  Resident Evil: Code: Veronica, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #6)

MARCH

19.  Resident Evil: Nemesis, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #5)

18.  Resident Evil: Underworld, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #4)

17.  Resident Evil: City of the Dead, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #3)

16.  Resident Evil: Caliban Cove, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #2)

15.  Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #1)

14.  Nation, by Terry Pratchett (NOT a Discworld novel)

FEBRUARY

13.  *King of Shadows, by Susan Cooper

12.  Zombie Apocalypse!, created by Stephen Jones (compiled)

11.  The White Queen, by Philippa Gregory (Cousins' War #1)

JANUARY

10. * Mrs. Pollifax and the Golden Triangle, by Dorothy Gilman (Mrs. Pollifax Series #8)

 9.  The Other Side of Dawn, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #7)

 8.  The Night is for Hunting, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #6)

 7.  Burning for Revenge, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #5)

 6.  Darkness, be My Friend, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #4)

 5.  The Third Day, The Frost (aka The Killing Frost), by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #3)

 4.  The Dead of Night, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #2)

 3.  Skin Trade, by Laurell K. Hamilton (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #17)

 2.  *Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter #7)

 1.  Tomorrow, When the War Began, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #1)

Uhh...what?

"You know I got some of your birthday presents used, right?"
"It's not condoms, is it?"

This is what I live with.

Finally, I'm the Hero

So for what might possibly be the first time in our relationship, I got to be the hero.  Normally, Adam is the hero.  He's the one with the job (which meant that I could quit my crappy one).  He's the one who takes out (both) the giant-ass spiders (and the little ones).  He . . . ok, well, that's all I've got right now.

But yesterday, yesterday I got to be a hero for the first time (buying an overpriced undershirt probably doesn't count).  Where I'm afraid of spiders--mortally, irrationally, overreactionally afraid of spiders--slugs ook him out.  A lot.  He swears they don't scare him, just gross him out, but the boy backs way out of the way, and usually out of visual range, when there's a slug to be found.  Also, his toes curl under (way under).

This made his Monday morning shower a bit more interesting.  For those not in the know, our Lewisham Road flat is an underdwelling, or what others might call a daylight basement.  Our bedroom and bathroom are both below street level, though both do have windows, and an extraction fan in the bathroom.  Given the rather cheap construction of our flat (and due to necessity, to be fair) our extraction fan is essentially a large, mostly open pipe at head level in our shower.  As in, during the day, I can see daylight and plant life through it.  There is a bit of a grill on each end, but it doesn't exactly block anything.  In this case, what it did not block was a slug.

It wasn't a very big slug, to be fair.  As such things go, it might even have been a cute slug (I'm not afraid of them, but I'm not convinced of their "cuteness" either.  It's a slug.  Eugene girl or not, the Slug Queen is only awesome because it's a guy in drag.  Usually a hairy guy.).  What it was was an industrious slug. It had ventured in from the vent, up the tiles then across the tiles and down behind Adam's shampoo and conditioner bottles (Dove, if you're keeping score.  I use generic Boots or Morrison's knockoff of Herbal Essences.).  Behind his shampoo and conditioner is where he found it.  And the pile of eggs it was laying.

To his eternal credit, he did not scream.  He did, however, take what might be the fastest shower he's taken in the 5.5 years we've been together.  Shortly after the shower turned off, the door opened.  This was common at Titanic--we'd let the steam out and not worry about flashing the locals, since the bathroom opened into the hallway.  But here the bathroom is right across from our living room windows, which open onto a very busy alley.  So no opening of the door, meaning I was a bit surprised that the door opened so quickly.  He did not have enough time to do his hair (a much longer process than mine, in part because he has longer hair, and in part because he's weird), shave (for Monday is a shaving day), or brush his teeth (no explanation needed, except for structural symmetry here).

He came very quickly out of the bathroom, found me, and said, "I need you to take care of the slug in the shower.  And the eggs."  He was very calm about it.  Until I looked at his toes.  They were curled under, somewhere in the region of his heels.  But, hero though I got to be, I must give him credit.  If I felt the way he did, I'd have been out of there like a shot, screaming for him.  He finished his shower.  In record time, perhaps, and neither one of us is sure he got all the soap rinsed off, but he did finish his shower, even after finding his nemesis in the corner behind his shampoo and conditioner, spewing eggs out at a remarkable rate.

I am most proud of Adam.  Jealous at his calm, collected demeanor--excepting his hiding in the corner of the bedroom whilst I removed the offender and where he asked me to examine the entire house for slugs (which I actually did)--but proud.  And for once, I got to be the hero.

You want how much?!

or

Why I had to buy a £10.90 men's undershirt.

As you may or may not recall, Adam's brother Mark got married two weeks ago.  As you also may or may not be aware of, my husband only wears black clothes.  That said, on very rare occasions (graduation, weddings--namely ours and Mark's) he'll wear a white dress shirt with a suit.  In part, this is due to the fact that he doesn't have any black shirts that are nice enough to wear with his suits.

When we got married, Adam didn't own a white undershirt.  My father, on the other hand, owns many of them; I think he bought a caseload of them just before he retired and didn't wear them.  So Adam borrowed one of Dad's, and I asked Dad if Adam could keep it.  Not a problem.

Except Adam didn't want it.  And for some reason, I didn't argue with him, or just keep it myself and give it to him later.  This turned out to be a mistake.  A costly mistake.

When we started getting dressed the morning of Mark's wedding, Adam put on his white shirt.  Sadly, once it was on, it turned a bit pink, except for the nippular region, which was a dark round patch.  After I finished snickering (and trying to purple his nurples), I suggested he try wearing his wedding shirt.  The results were better, but not by much.

Since I was already dressed and ready to go, I volunteered to see if the menswear shop in Slaithwaite (yay for amenities, just around the corner from Lewisham Road!) was open and stocked tee-shirts.  Luckily, it was and it does.  When I walked in, a stodgy, stuffing looking Captain Peacock type fellow came out of the back and asked if he could help me.  I asked him if he stocked white undershirts.  He gave me a rather askance look, and asked me what size, so I told him, "uh, large, I guess."  He pulled a box out of the drawer that said Jockey, showed it to me, and asked if that's what I was looking for.  I should have known that if wouldn't hand me the box to look at something was wrong.

He rang it up and told me the price.  The price being £10.90.  There was only one tee-shirt in the box.  Now, as you may know, I get frustrated when people ask "how much is that in dollars?"  The answer is that generally it doesn't matter; a dollar and a pound spend in basically the same way--a meal you would spend $12 on costs about £12.  That said, sometimes price conversion is useful.  As of writing this, £1 is equal to $1.63.

Now, take both of those financial comparisons into account, and look at how much I paid for the undershirt.

...

...

...

Yeah.  That's right.  Depending on how you look at it, I spent £11, $11, or $17.75 on a single, goddamned white undershirt.  All because my husband wouldn't keep one of my father's.

The good news?  It's very comfortable.  Soft and fitted, but not too tight, and moves nicely with him.  All I have to say?  It had damned well better!

Reading List: April 2011

APRIL

23.  The Girl Who Played with Fire, by Stieg Larsson (Millennium Trilogy #2)
22.  Disappearing Ingenue Stories, by Melissa Pritchard
21.  The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson (Millennium Trilogy #1)
20.  Resident Evil: Code: Veronica, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #6)

MARCH

19.  Resident Evil: Nemesis, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #5)
18.  Resident Evil: Underworld, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #4)
17.  Resident Evil: City of the Dead, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #3)
16.  Resident Evil: Caliban Cove, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #2)
15.  Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy, by S. D. Perry (Resident Evil Novelizations #1)
14.  Nation, by Terry Pratchett (NOT a Discworld novel)

FEBRUARY

13.  *King of Shadows, by Susan Cooper
12.  Zombie Apocalypse!, created by Stephen Jones (compiled)
11.  The White Queen, by Philippa Gregory (Cousins' War #1)

JANUARY

10. * Mrs. Pollifax and the Golden Triangle, by Dorothy Gilman (Mrs. Pollifax Series #8)
 9.  The Other Side of Dawn, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #7)
 8.  The Night is for Hunting, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #6)
 7.  Burning for Revenge, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #5)
 6.  Darkness, be My Friend, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #4)
 5.  The Third Day, The Frost (aka The Killing Frost), by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #3)
 4.  The Dead of Night, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #2)
 3.  Skin Trade, by Laurell K. Hamilton (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #17)
 2.  *Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter #7)
 1.  Tomorrow, When the War Began, by John Marsden (The Tomorrow Series #1)