Why won't the Fates stop messing with me?

More on this next week when I can write more.  But seriously, I swear that higher powers, fate, whatever just like confusing my life for fun.  Remember boys and girls, it's not paranoia when they are actually all out to get you.

And in a slight bit of funny/sad news, Faith got her head stuck under my bed today.  I'm not quite sure how it got under there in the first place since her nice bed with walls is in my room this week.  Yet somehow, it did, and then when she woke up she couldn't remove it, I think because her head first went over the side of her bed, and then under my bed frame.  So that was a bit exciting for a moment.  But then she freed herself.  And looked very confused when she finally appeared.

I'm on my way...

I cannot deny that I'm excited to be moving back to the UK and to live with the boy.  Since I've made that decision, I've had to make a rather large number of other decisions.  The first one takes effect tomorrow, and I view it as a mixed blessing.  Because Greenhill needed to provide firm dates for my replacements (instead of the vague "end of January, beginning of February" that I had been feeding them), last week was my last week doing the KEZI Pet of the Week gig.  I'm sad that I no longer will be spending time with doggies who need homes, but it is nice to not have to get up at 5:30am.  And I do have a wonderful puppy of my own (who's asleep in my bed next to me right now).  Even so, it's a little sad knowing that I won't be actively working (in this way) to help these wonderful dogs get homes.

In other news, an early happy birthday to my mother, who turns an undisclosed age on Wednesday (her birthday present from me is cocktails at a local martini bar and parts to fix the dishwasher...lame, but what she wants), and also happy birthday to my darling Faith, who turns 3 right around now.  The real date for us to celebrate her is July 24, which is when she first came to live with us.  But happy birthday to both of them :)

Oh, and if I liked babies half so much as I love, adore, and dote on Faith, I'd be a fantastic mother.  Too bad I dislike babies.  Kids aren't quite so bad.

"Irony's a Bitch" Strikes Again

So in another sign that the universe is out to get me (it's not paranoia when it's true), I got offered a job today.  But I'm moving in a month or so now, which means I can't in good faith take the job (and the guy who offered it to me is really cool, so I won't lie to him).  Were the job guaranteed full-time and enough money to support two people, I probably would have taken it, and presented Adam with a fait accompli, but the current offer wasn't enough.

As for the job, it would have been working in the fry kitchen (ie making fish and chips) of a fishmonger's.  I'm sure there are a lot of people saying "ew! gross!" but it's a great organization, and the pay isn't bad.  Also, the people are really great there.  There's also the additional possibility that the owner would eventually move me over to the retail side.  When he interviewed me back over the summer, he told me that he wanted to hire me to work with the cheese (yay!) but there just wasn't the business right then.  Which sucked for him (and me, obviously), because he generally has a policy of hiring good people when he gets the chance so they don't slip away.

All that said though, the good news is that he remembered me when another position opened up, and also asked me to check back in when I get back in the summer.

And in short, the reason why irony strikes again is because I got offered a job working in the cattery at Greenhill Humane Society last year.  They called literally 2 days after I accepted the internship down in Death Valley.  Unsurprisingly, they didn't want me buggering off for 5 weeks.  That also wouldn't have offered enough money to support the two of us, but I was interested.  Ultimately, that turned out for the best though, as I discovered soon after I'm rather allergic to cats.  Not so cool, working all day with cats when you scratch yourself into hives.

Well, that explains that.

To continue on with our theme of porn/crappy-wannabe-notporn-porn, it turns out the Girls Gone Wild team has left Eugene.  At least the bus thingy is no longer in front of Sleazy club.  Instead, it appears to be wending it's way toward our great nation's capital.  I leave you with this story, from IMDb (who I believe got it from WENN, but whatever).  Permalink is here.

Porn Moguls Ask Congress For Help
7 January 2009 7:56 AM, PST

Porn moguls Larry Flynt and Joe Francis are appealing to the U.S. Congress to grant the adult entertainment industry a $5 billion (GBP3.3 billion) bail out - because it is suffering from the global economic meltdown just as much as others.

Hustler magazine entrepreneur Flynt claims adult DVD sales have plummeted in the last 12 months, with figures down 22 per cent from 2007.

He says, "With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

Meanwhile, Girls Gone Wild creator Francis is planning to travel to Washington D.C. to make his point heard, because he's adamant the porn industry is a key part of the U.S. economy - just like the financial and motor institutions.

He tells TMZ.com, "Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration."

A truly...something...day for Eugene

Yes ladies and gents, it's true.  "Girls Gone Wild" is here in Eugene.  So if I desire, I too can go down to the local skank club/bar and show my boobs for a free shirt.  Feel my excitment (but not my boobs).

I've known for a while now that Girls Gone Wild was going to be in Eugene--they've been hyping it for probably two months.  But today on my way back from the dentist, the big bus with some bimbo's face (but not boobs) was parked in front of the club.  I think they'll be here all week.  Oh goody.

I'd like to think we Eugenians are smarter than this.  However, we have a major university in this town.  Most of the students will not be interested in participating (even if a bunch show up just to see what the deal is), but I know there are a few absolute twits who will think that showing their tits on telly is a smart career move.  I suppose it might be, if your planned career is porn, stripping, or prostitution (and I'm not sure about the porn bit).  My bigger concern is all the high school aged girls who may try to sneak in for this.  I'm sure they'll be checking IDs, but how closely is the real question.

You know my biggest problem with the Girls Gone Wild videos?  They're crap.  I had a housemate once who owned about 300 different porn video things, including a bunch of the GGWs, and so I actually sat down to watch one.  What you see in the adverts for them is all you get.  It's not porn.  It's drunk, stupid chicks flashing their tits and maybe arse for a camera.  It's not sexy.  It's embarrassing for the girls, and for the morons who buy the videos.  And it's BORING.  If I want porn, I want something to hold my attention.  Drunk chicks smashing their boobs together do not hold my attention, even when someone in the background is screaming "woah!  yeah!".

Ugh.