James Cameron is a Douche

or

An Open Letter to Director James Cameron

Dear James Cameron,

Your movies are long, preachy, and generally suck.  Titanic had an obviously predictable plot, because unless you were planning on changing history, the ship sinks.  And your script for Titanic made two talented actors (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet) look like hacks.  My heart nearly didn't go on, but your movie did.  And on.  And on.  And on.

Avatar would have worked better as a cartoon, because that's what it looked like.  Sam Worthington--another talented actor--kept slipping in and out of his accent.  Was that intentional, or was he so bored he couldn't remember what he was supposed to sound like?  Plus, your script had horrible dialogue, the plant life on Pandora was unbelievable (it's unlikely bamboo and maples would live next to each other on any planet, but--to be fair--Lost also made this mistake), and the penis-hair-bond thing was just creepy.  I gave you 1 point for the unobtanium thing, but you immediately lost it on the sheer preachiness of your film.  I too care about the environment, have many issues with the health care situation in the US, and am not overly fond of large portions of capitalism, but I also believe in the subtleties and fine nuances of good storytelling.  You failed.  You ripped off from Lord of the Rings, Independence Day, The Matrix, Star Wars (specifically Return of the Jedi), Pocahontas, Delgo, Call Me Joe by Poul Anderson, and lord only knows what else.  I understand that many, many stories are at least partially derivative, but you are bordering on plagiarism in some cases.

Plus, your movies are too damn long.  Get over yourself.

Sincerely,

Katie