An Open Letter to My Guests

Dear Invited Wedding Guests,

I sent you a wedding invitation with an RSVP card enclosed, and a request that your reply be returned by 11 November. With only a few exceptions, I also included either a stamp on the postcard, or a stamped envelope (for non-US residents) so you could return your RSVP card with little to no hassle.

Many of you were very courteous and replied in a timely manner, making it easier for me to plan for food and beverages, as well as assemble a wedding playlist that includes your requests (which admittedly is not yet finished). A few of you have not yet replied. I understand some of you have other concerns; massive family events, work and life changes, large amounts of travel, and severe illnesses mean that the card was pushed aside, and possibly forgotten. However, there are also some people out there who, so far as I can tell, just haven't bothered to reply. I did send out an email recently to a group of you, and shortly thereafter received a couple of RSVP cards, and an email. The rest of you have remained silent. I have to assume that if you haven't RSVPd you will not be coming. I follow some of your lives, either directly or indirectly, and have some idea about your intentions. However, for some of you I really have no clue; one of you implied months ago that you would be attending, one of you I have heard absolutely nothing from (including when I requested a mailing address, which I subsequently found), and one who I haven't heard from since sending a mailing address.

In short, I am very frustrated. No answer from you means I plan for you to not attend. And while I would like to see everyone (even if you don't RSVP I would still like to see you), there will not be enough chairs or food if I'm not notified. And I refuse to feel guilty or bad about that; RSVP means a response is requested either way, not just if you'll be attending.

Additionally, I stamped your RSVP card/envelope (exceptions include a Canadian friend--sorry, I couldn't get a stamp for you) and a few people in England. Unless you are one of those people, or I see you all the time, use the stamp. Don't call one of us in lieu of sending the card back, don't email one of us in lieu of sending the card back, put it in the mail. Postage isn't cheap, and neither was printing those cards. The only exceptions I have to people not mailing them back are the people in Eugene I see all the time--I don't mind you giving them to me by hand--or the couple of people I told to email me. I'm happy to receive emails as well, and I will attempt to respond, but those cards are what I use to assemble the master guest list that I use for all my planning (yes, one actually exists).

I also understand that sometimes things get lost in the mail, or in the case of the postcards, potentially shredded. But if I've emailed you asking for a response and you sent your card, please reply to my emails and let me know again, because I didn't get your card.

Thank you,

Katie